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Matt's Rants

Is Your Princess in Another Castle? I Say Let Her Go.

 

If you have to go through eight worlds like Mario had to just to find out that the princess wasn’t there, wouldn’t you just give up after the third? I realize in a lot of movies, the love interest always messes things up. In a world like today, you think she would be the only one out there for you, but with seven billion people in the world, do you really think she is the only one for you? If anything, you can probably find someone exactly like her. Someone that is even a lot better. She could be a model with your girlfriend’s interest? Or an Asian version of your one and only? There is no reason why you should stick with stupid, especially if she keeps getting into trouble. There is one exception you should stick with stupid. Zombie Apocalypse. Chances of finding a living vagina to repopulate the earth at the point might be a bit hard. Then, yes, save her.  Love isn’t really that hard to find. You can even buy love. Might not be the same love you are hoping to get but its love. Why would you care who spends the rest of your life with you if you can just adjust to that person’s well being? I say stop being a clingy hero and find someone who can cook and keep themselves inside.

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Matt's Rants

Super Powers!

On the talk of super powers, what super power do you want the most?

After seeing the two main summer blockbusters of 2012, I want the power of advertisement. It may sound dumb, but think about it. Batman and Ironman both prove that money is the best super power, as shown in their respective movies.  To be stars of the show, you don’t need to be cops, monsters, have steroids, skills, or even be a God. You need just enough money to make you invincible from all that stuff. Now, what does that have to do with advertisement? Everything. Crapping blockbuster hits drown you in so much advertisement on every televisions, buses, trains, and even airplanes which helps them succeed by making sure you know their flick by the time you show up to the theatres so, you can choose their flick over flick B. So, if everyone came to see my flick over flick B, I would receive that money. Also, If McDonalds serve approximately 58 million a day, making at least one buck per a sale, they would have 58 million dollars. According to Forbes Fictional 15 article, Tony Stark’s net worth is only 9.3 billion dollars and Bruce Wayne’s Net worth is only at 6.9 billion, I should be able to catch up to them in no time. Now to come up with a DIY super power…

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Matt's Rants

What About Me?

You might see me as your average man, but I would have to disagree. I have extraordinary powers. “What powers?” you might ask. I have the power to write this piece. I know some of you guys can do this too, but probably won’t. I have the power to tell stories from my impeccable memory. I am also an electronics genius. I may not be electronically suave as Iron Man, which brings me on to my next topic. I am an avid comic book reader. I may not have read every book in existence, but I have read a number of them. Just don’t ask me to pick between Marvel and D.C. You wouldn’t want Batman or Spider-man mad at you either. I choose to listen to podcasts over music. I believe one of the best forms of entertainment is another person’s story. It might not always be as great as living through it yourself but it is the next best thing.  I can solve a lot of problems. It’s easy. If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.  If it is broken, fix it so it will never happen again.  It’s as simple as that. I may not be perfect, but my daughter is. She is a bit of me, plus more. She’s as charming as a princess. Her only flaw is that she is getting bigger and will eventually have a full life of her own. She’s only two now and has already taught me something; without warning, time will pass you by.

 

What about you?

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Matt's Rants

Matt’s Rants Intro.

Matt did not only prove that he was better than me, but he continuously out beats me in Awesomeness. That is why I am constantly catching myself talking about him. He tells the coolest stories and makes me wish I could live a life like him. I can’t though. This is the part where I come up with a lame excuse, blah, blah, blah, blah, and you, readers, just nod in agreement.

Thank you for your participation.

Matt… er, I mean, Mikie

Now on to Matt’s Rants.