Don’t Be That Guy

This is a little scene that has Erika trying educate Dennis on a few subtleties while racing

(sitting on couch, playin video game…maybe mario kart)

Dennis: I’m so gonna kick your ass this round!

Erika: After losing the first 12? You really do suck at this shit, ya know that?

Dennis: Suck like your mother’s dick! Watch me take this turn like a fuckin pro

Erika: And that’s another thing. Who the fuck taught you how to talk shit? It’s not even like the shit is fucking clever. It’s just kinda like bein tit-fucked by a clown

Dennis: Huh?

Erika: Funny, but sad

Dennis: Not as sad as you’re about to be

Erika: Yeah,…no.

Dennis: No?

Erika: Just like a retard watching British tv, you’ve missed the point.

Dennis: What point? We’re talking smack

Erika: Who the fuck says smack? It’s shit, denny, we’re talking SHIT to each other. Well, at least one of us is. You don’t so much talk shit as you kinda just let it dribble from your mouth in incoherent bursts.

Dennis: Your mother dribbles shit!

Erika: Again with the mother jokes…fine, yeah well ya caught me, my mother dribbles shit, but while you were spending time making that observation I stopped by your mom’s place and beat the shit outta her for spawning the worthless p.o.s. you are. What’s more, I followed it up by taping her orally pleasure an obese man who was eatin the family cat which I fried up for him just so I could come back here and tell you that your mom likes to gets down with fat fucks who love to eat pussy….and now I’m winning.

Dennis: Where the fuck did you come from?

Erika: The winner’s circle, and I’m on my way back. Jesus Christ, it’s easy to beat you. No wonder Eddy loves to talk shit about your sorry ass.

Dennis: Not fair, he likes to talk shit about everyone. Don’tcha remember how you’re his favorite little whore?

Erika: And don’t you remember how you’re his favorite little bitch?

Dennis: I’m not his bitch!

Erika: Bitch, lackey, lap-dog. Same difference.

Dennis: Good point. You think Eddy has no soul?

Erika: What?

Dennis: I mean, does he care about anything?

Erika: Oh don’t start with that shit!

Dennis: What!? We can’t share feelings about our friend?

Erika: Don’t be THAT guy!

Dennis: What guy?

Erika: The sad pathetic shit who’s got nothing better to do than validate himself by sharing his fucking feelings with the world even though the world, and that’s including everyone in this room, maybe even yourself, doesn’t care about said feelings. Why don’t you grow a pair and start bein a little more independent, and for the love of god, do me a favor and do the responsible thing and take all these feelings you’re having right now and just bottle them up!

Dennis: But, I-

Erika: Shh! Don’t you do it! don’t you let a single person inside that stone cold heart of yours. You’re a man now….fucking pussy. You know that’s why I kick your ass at this game.

Eddy: Hey guys, what’d I miss?

Erika: Not much

Dennis: Except for Ere takin me down a peg and crushin my emotions

Eddy: Were you bein a little bitch again and tryin to talk about your feelings? Gotta tell ya man, one day you’ll realize that all those movies your mommy put on for ya were wrong and contrary to what you’ve been forced to believe, no one, not even the fuckin women you pay to hang out with you, care how you feel. Isn’t that right, Ere?

Erika: Shit, leave my twenty on the dresser and call me next paycheck

Eddy: Spoken like the true whore that she is

Erika: Fuck you

Eddy: Later, but only if you promise to go ass to mouth and call me Sally

Erika: pfft!

Eddy: Everybody’s gotta have standards nowadays…anyway, whaddya say there, denny? Ready to drop the feelings and start actin like a real human?

Dennis: I-

Eddy: Great! Then it’s settled. We’ll start by doin some blow off a nun’s ass

Dennis: I don’t know about all that…and don’t you mean stripper?

Eddy: Gotta crawl before you can walk…


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