Matt's Rants

My Girlfriend’s kid.

My girlfriend’s Son just came back from his dad’s house. I haven’t seen him in days and he is only 5 going to be 6 so I try to converse with him to build his verbal skills. Normally it’s over a bowl of cereal or some sort of early morning snack while everyone is still asleep and we are wide awake. An example of our conversation goes:


Me: What did you do this weekend?

Kid: We went to McDonalds!

Me: Cool, What else?

Kid: We went bowling!

Me: Did you win?

Kid: Uh huh!


Which I will always expect out of him being five or so, trying to develop his sense of telling stories. Then this weekend happened. I woke up late and didn’t get our morning routine, instead I started conversation with him in front of everyone.


Me: Did you have fun with daddy?

Kid: Uh huh.

Me: What did you do?

Kid: I played bowling until *newborn baby sister * fell asleep.

Me: Cool. What else did you do?

Kid: I saw *Dad’s new girlfriend * take off her Chonies (Spanish for underwear).


I wasn’t completely awake until this point, when my head snapped to the boy’s face and then quickly snapped to the boy’s mother, whose face is lit up in anger. The mother joins the conversation to see what else he noticed at his age.


Mother: Does *dad’s new girlfriend * sleep naked?

Kid: Yea, so does daddy!


The out come never came up yet, but I will admit, this isn’t going to be pretty. Sometimes, they are much smarter than you think.


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