Mikie Draws

Now, loyal readers (At this point, I think that’s only Arturo) I have a treat. It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, so I’m gonna post another short scene from my script. I’m now about 20 or so pages into it. Not incredibly far, but I’ve got some great scenes (at least I think so). I’ll try to post more often, but this is probably one of the last times you’ll see something directly from the script. Enjoy.

(ER waiting room.)
Doctor: Erica, Dennis?
Dennis: Yes, doctor?
Dr: We’ve run our initial tests, and he doesn’t seem to have sustained too many injuries. However we’ve found something we think you should know
Dennis: Found something?
Erica: Oh no, he’s not a woman is he? I swear to god, if I have to hear about one more chick with a dick-
Dennis: SHUT UP! what’s wrong with him doctor?
Dr: Well, dennis, I’m afraid that when we ran blood tests, we found that he has AIDs
Erica: Dude….
Dennis: He-what? I-
Dr: Now listen, he’s gonna need you to be strong for him. We’re going to tell him in a few minutes and we want you to be there.
Dennis: He’s so young…I…I can’t believe something like this could happen to (begins to sob)
Eddy: Haaaaaah! I told you that pussy would cry first!
Dr: Son of a-
Dennis: Wha-? I?
Eddy: Well that’s that doc, thanks for playin. Here’s a hunsky. Take it, you’ve earned it
Dr: I still can’t believe it
Eddy: Eh-eh-eh. Doc, my change?
Dr: Here’s your quarter
Eddy: Pleasure doin business with ya
(doctor leaves)
Erica: Dude, you have AIDS?
Eddy: Pffft!
Dennis: Huh?
Eddy: I just paid the doc to come out here and say that
Dennis: So you’re not gonna die?
Eddy: Fuck-tard, you listenin here? it was a lie
Dennis: Wait, you paid the doctor $99.75 to tell us you had AIDS?
Eddy: No, I paid the good doctor $100 to come out here and tell you I had AIDS and BET him 25cents your bitch-ass would cry first. What a pidgeon.
Erica: That’s hilarious! I fuckin love you.
Dennis: You have no soul
Eddy: Had to make room for the comedy somewhere
Dennis: Are you even hurt at all?
Eddy: Nope, I actually stole these crutches from a one-legged kid on the way over. Speakin of which, he’s finally hoppin over and he looks pissed. Let’s roll.
Dennis: You know you’re going to hell, right?
Eddy: Ya know, I only have to hear that three more times before gettin a free t-shirt
(/scene)

Another scene. This one involves Dennis and Eddy discussing their status as fanboys, Spiderman killing Mary Jane, “pullin the plug,” and Erica’s promiscurity.
(walkin out of diner, down the street)
Dennis: You gotta be shittin me
Eddy: Stop me when I lie
Dennis: There’s no possible way you could be right.
Eddy: Dude, you keep tryin to contend you’re straight, but if you wanna have
this conversation on the street, not only are you about as straight as a 3
dollar bill, but you’re furthering the belief that you’re the only gay virgin in
existence.
Dennis: Fuck off, you walk around with that smug look, but you know you’re an
even bigger fanboy than me.
Eddy: Pfft!
Dennis: Oh no? Then say that Superman is the alter ego Clark Kent created to
stop crime.
Eddy: Blasphemy! Everyone knows that Clark Kent is the alter ego created by
Superman to project his true thoughts of humanity as weak, cowardly, &
pathetic individuals.
Dennis: Hah!
Eddy: Well, maybe you’re right about that, but that doesn’t make me a liar
Dennis: Yeah it does, cause there’s no way it’d destroy her.
Eddy: C’mon man, you ever see a patient go through Kemo?
Dennis: What’s that gotta do with Mary Jane?
Eddy: Well, when a patient is subjected to all that radiation, it’s starts to have
negative side effects on their body. Now we all know Mary Jane and
Parker have been married for years, and considering the looks she always
gives him, they’ve gotta be fuckin like rabbits.
Dennis: O…k
Eddy: Hear me out, Parker got his powers through a radioavtive spider bite,
right? You figure it altered his DNA, and what’s more, you have to
assume that in order for him to have kept his powers so long the radiation
had to stay in his system
Dennis: Sounds about right
Eddy: Now, you figure a married couple, especially one with a pregnency scare
like the Parkers, had to stop wearin raincoats a while ago. Every time
they get down, he’s givin her a hefty dose of radiation.
Dennis: Still can’t buy it
Eddy: Think about it, even if they get down only once a week, he’s injectin her
with radioactive spider splooge 52 times a year. Are you gonna tell me
that’s doin nothin to her?
Dennis: Well…
Eddy: Quit bein a pussy and admit, Parker loves Mary Jane, but of all the
people tryin to kill her, he’s the one that’s gonna succeed.
Dennis: Dude, what the fuck goes on in your head to make you come up with all
this shit?
Eddy: I’d like to let you glimpse into the mad world that is my cerebelum, but
I’m afraid the content will give your fragile mind such a shock you’ll fall
into a deep state of psychosis, then I’d have to kill you, Old Yeller style.
Dennis: That’s cold man
Eddy: What else do you do with a friend who’s lost his mind? You expect me to
babysit you while you smear fecal matter on the walls of your confinement
area?
Erica: Hey guys, what’s up?
Dennis: Nothing, ‘cept lil Travis here is gonns kill me
Erica: What?
Eddy: Now c’mon, I didn’t say it like that
Erica: Why are you trying to kill him
Dennis: ‘Cause I smeared shit on the walls
Erica: Smeared shit on the wa-?
Eddy: Dude, do you really have a problem with this shit?
Dennis: Not if you actually wanna be a douchebag for the rest of your life
Eddy: Grow up, I’d expect you to do the same for me, not like this wuss over
here
Erica: Hey!
Dennis: Really? In that case, it’s kool…fuckin bitches never wanna pull the plug
Erica: You can’t call me a bitch!
Eddy: I think he just did.
Erica: God-damn fucks are always the same!
Dennis: What’s got her panties up in a bunch?
Eddy: My guess is she just broke up with “stupid”
Erica: I thought he was special
Eddy: Bullshit, Ere
Dennis: Gotta admit, I’ve seen-
Erica: Shut up! You don’t know
Eddy: C’mon! How many dates?
Erica: A lady doesn’t tell
Dennis: You’re no lady
Erica: :-O
Eddy: Dennis…Erica?
Erica: Four
Eddy: …
Erica: ok three
Eddy: Uh-huh
Erica: (sigh) fine…second date
Dennis: Dude, you are a slut!
Erica: Son of a-
Eddy: Denny, we had a talk about this, you need to learn how to NOT blurt
things out.
Erica: Why the fuck do you even bring this fuck-tard around without a leash?
Eddy: Now play fair, Ere, I could just as easily ask you why you don’t have a
muzzle on your oyster ditch to stop it from tryin to swallow every nether-
rod in a 5 mile radius
Erica: Oh, like you’re one to talk. I may be a whore, but at least I’m gettin
satisfied. Don’t pretend I didn’t hear about your 5 second power show
with Betty
Eddy: Oh, that’s where you wanna take it?
Erica: Express Shipping. Bring your A-game, bitch!
Dennis: When are you two just going to admit you love eachother?
Both: WHAT!?
(Eddy, Erica look incredulously at Dennis. Walk away)

A scene from the script I’m writing for my untitled project. Dennis and Eddy briefly discuss the homosexual themes in a romantic movie. (Names not final)

(on the couch, in front of the tv)

Eddy: This is by far the gayest movie on the planet

Dennis: How the fuck is it gay? It’s a hetero couple!

Eddy: Who gives a fuck if it’s a dude and chick, the real crime is that they’re
sittin there talkin about ‘love’ and ‘forever’ and shit when they should be
talkin bout gettin down.

Dennis: Gettin down?

Eddy: Yeah, you know, makin with the sex

Dennis: I know what you mean. Don’t you think they’re gonna eventually fuck?

Eddy: Well yeah they’re gonna eventually fuck, but in this scene they’re only bein
all romantic and shit. That shit’s for pussies.

Dennis: Dude, do you even have half a brain?

Eddy: Hear me out, so fine, they make with the fuckin later, and that’s cool, but
you’re tellin me that these two bitches have to make me sit here and
watch their pansy-ass love story unfold while gettin no pay-off? That shit’s
gay.

Dennis: Dude, there’s a major pay-off here. They’re embarking on the greatest
journey ever. The journey of love.

Eddy: Case in fucking point. You watch this scene, and next thing I know
you’re sittin here vomiting this gay journey of love bullshit like it’s some
gay disease. Well I tell you one thing, my friend, I am NOT sticking
around to catch it.

Dennis: Point taken. But hey, you know how I know you’re gay?

Eddy: Don’t even get me started…